Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/31/11 - 11:20am)

Hey babies,
I just got a call from the Apnea Center.  They said the 8 alarms Parks has had were "true events" so we will need to continue to monitor him.  I was thinking that Marlee would get off of her monitor today since she has not had any alarms since she came home, but the person on the phone said they usually like to see 8 to 12 weeks of zero events before taking babies off of the monitors.  That is heartbreaking.  I was so hopeful to get a little bit of normalcy by getting rid of these monitors, but it looks like they are going to be part of our lives for a long time.
I love you sweet babies.  I'm so sorry I couldn't keep you growing in my belly longer so you wouldn't have to deal with all of this junk.  You should still be in there right now, but instead you've been out here for almost 3 weeks now.  You shouldn't have to go through this.  You don't deserve it.  I'm so sorry.
All my love,
Mommy

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/31/11 - 10:25am)

Hi babies,
I'm sorry I have slowed down so much in writing to you.  You two little angels are keeping mommy very busy these days.  :)  We went to the hospital yesterday to weigh you both to make sure you are gaining weight appropriately and talk to the lactation consultant.

Parks,
You have been eating better and better, and you gained about 8 ounces since Friday, so that was great.  You were 5 pounds 0.1 ounces on Friday, and you were 5 pounds, 9 ounces on Wednesday.  Keep it up buddy!  You are doing great, and I can definitely see the improvement in your nursing skills.  The representative from the Apnea center came yesterday to download your monitors, so we should get the results late today or tomorrow for that.  You still have an alarm once in a while during your feedings...you've had a total of 6 so far.  We don't know if they are false alarms or real, but we should find out today.  Your daddy is amazing.  Last night you were fussy after about 2:00am (that seems to be your party time for about 4 hours).  Mommy got so tired and had to ask daddy to give you a bottle.  He ended up staying up with you and Marlee for the rest of the night, and then went to work this morning!  I feel so horrible for sleeping while he did that.  It's hard not to feel guilty about it all, but I am trying to look at the big picture.  I love you!
All my love,
Mommy

Marlee,
You need to gain some weight, sweetheart.  You stayed exactly the same from last Friday to this Wednesday.  It's worrying mommy, so let's try to get you eating better, ok?  You were doing pretty well with nursing, but then when we found out you weren't gaining weight, we planned to add two bottles to your daily routine.  Well...as soon as you got a bottle, you didn't want to nurse anymore.  The bottles are definitely easier for you to get your food, so that's probably why you don't want to nurse when you know the difference.  I don't know what to do because if we don't nurse, it is going to be a challenge to keep you and Parks eating together.  Every day is a new experiment...and I just want you to have what is best for you to grow and thrive.  I know worrying doesn't help anything, but if it did...we'd be in good shape because mommy is a big worry-wart.  I love you so much sweet girl.  It's time for you to eat again, so here we go....
All my love,
Mommy

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/26/11 - 2:00pm)

Hi sweet babies!
You are both doing really great.  We are working on transitioning away from the bottle, and it is definitely a challenge.  You both prefer the bottle, and I can't blame you because I know it is easier for you, but you're both being troopers and we are trying to get better with nursing.  Daddy feeds you each a bottle at night time so mommy can sleep a little bit, and you both chugged your bottles in no time!  I am so sorry if you are feeling hungry...I feel guilty for trying to get you switched over...but the doctor and all the nurses said you are doing great and should be fine.  We we figure it out, even though it is a challenge right now.  You are both becoming so much more alert and energetic already.  You are looking around with wide open eyes and making the sweetest little facial expressions I've ever seen.  I really need to take more pictures, but it is so hard to find the time.  You both pretty much feed back-to-back at this point.  I know that will change though.  I love you both more and more each day, which doesn't even seem possible, but it is happening.  :)  Keep eating and sleep well.  I love you!
All my love,
Mommy

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/25/11 - 2:45pm)

Parks,
Wow...so much has happened!!  I'm sorry I haven't written to you in a couple of days, but I promise it's only because we've been spending so much great time together.  You came home with mommy and daddy on Tuesday, March 22nd around 7:00pm.  You have a home apnea-monitor, but you've been doing really great with it so far.  You've had ZERO alarms for apnea, and you've had 2 alarms for low heart-rate, but I am pretty sure they were both false alarms.  Both times you were eating which can sometimes cause false alarms.  You were fine both times and didn't require any intervention...you just kept eating, and the alarm only sounded for about 1 or 2 seconds and then auto-corrected.  You are sleeping pretty good.  During the daytime you do great with your naps...and you do "ok" at night, but you seem to have a rough time between about 1:30am and 4:30am.  You're a little night-owl, but it has only been a few nights, so we will see if that continues.  You've been through a lot with coming home and getting settled in a new environment, so I can't blame you for being a little restless.  Besides, mommy is a crazy sleeper too.  I always talk in my sleep and walk and do all sorts of things, so maybe you are just taking after me?  Today we had your first visit with the pediatrician, and you did great!  You left the hospital weighing 4 pounds, 14.7 ounces, and today you joined the "5-pound club!"  You are 5 pounds, 0.6 ounces and 19.5 inches.  The doctor said everything is looking great so far, and you are going to go back in 3 weeks to get checked again.  It was such a great morning to see you are doing well at home.  We get to be a little bit more relaxed with your time at home too, which is great.  So far it has been very strict with how much time we can have you out of the crib, so we feed you hold you for a short time and put you back...but now we can cuddle some more during the day which will be so great!  I love you so much sweet boy.  You wore the cutest outfit to the doctor today that your Grandpa Richardson bought for you.  You look adorable.  I took some pictures and as soon as I get some time, I will upload them here so we can look back on your cuteness.
All my love,
Mommy

Marlee,
I'm so happy you are home!  You are doing really great so far.  You haven't had any alarms on your monitor, and you are sleeping so soundly in between feedings.  Grandma Murray keeps saying how you are so dainty and lady-like.  You always cross your ankles and you have your hand up by your face so delicately.  I love it.  Today we took you on your first outing to the pediatrician.  You gained about 5 ounces!  That's great!  You were discharged from the hospital on Tuesday at 4pounds, 1.7ounces, and today you were 4pounds, 6.8ounces.  Yay!  Of course, you did fill up your diaper a few seconds after being weighed, so it might have been a little high (ha!) but we are still so excited.  It is truly amazing how much a fraction of an ounce means to mommy these days.  I never realized how much those little details would affect me.  Today has been a fun day.  I hooked up your monitors in the family room and have a pack n' play for you and Parks to lay in.  It is nice to get out of the nursery for a while and for mommy to be in a comfortable chair.  We are going to get a glider for the nursery, but since you surprised us by coming early, we didn't quite have that ready.  Anyway, when I sit in the comfortable seat and relax, I think it helps you relax and nurse much better.   Keep up your great work and the doctor said we might get rid of your monitors by next week!!  I love you sweetheart.
All my love,
Mommy

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/22/11 - 3:30pm)

**3/22/11 (3:30pm)**

Parks and Marlee,

You're coming HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Daddy and I are at the hospital right now.  Your doctor called us this morning and said you two are ready to come home, so we came in this morning to get training on your home apnea monitors.  They are going to send the monitors home with you so we can make sure to watch you both very close for heart rate and breathing.  It is definitely scary, but we are glad to have the monitors if you need them.  We are hoping you will do great and won't need them for very long, but we will do whatever we have to in order to make sure you are safe and healthy.  Mommy had an appointment at 2:00pm to check my blood pressure, and the doctor said it was "beautiful."  I am healing great and feeling good...just ready to have my babies!!  This is such an amazing day.  I was expecting Thursday or Friday as your take-home day, so to know you will be with us today is incredible.  It's only Tuesday!!!  Daddy is re-packing the car right now and then he is going to come back up and get me and we are going to do the last couple of trainings before we get you.  This is just an amazing feeling.  I am beyond excited, happy, relieved, terrified and a bit tired.  :)  We bought you some itty-bitty preemie clothes last night that should fit you better than some of the outfits you've been wearing in the NICU.  We love you so much and can't wait to bring you home.  Rest well sweet babies.

All my love,

Mommy

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/21/11 - 2:00pm)

**3/21/2011 (2:00pm)**

Parks,

I love you.  You and your sister got moved this morning!  There was another set of twins born at the hospital this morning, so they moved you to the "holding nursery."  You still have a NICU nurse with you, but the NICU is so full of babies they had to move you down the hall.  It sounds like it is a good thing though, because the reason they chose to move you was that you two are the most stable!!  I loved hearing that.  You are eating well and slowly gaining weight.  The nurse didn't have your chart when I was there this morning, so she couldn't tell me your exact weight, but you really are looking good.  Your skin is looking better and better.  When you were first born, you had bruises on your head and left side of your body (especially your hand).  Guess how you got them?  Your sister!!  She really beat you up when you were in mommy's belly, and you had some crazy bruises when you were first born.  Now those are starting to go away.  Grandpa Murray got to hold you today for the first time.  You just slept and made lots of cute little facial expressions.  You also required 2 diaper changes while we were there.  :)  Daddy is working today and he misses you since he couldn't make it to your morning feeding...but he is hurrying through the mowing so he can make it back in time for your 5:00pm feeding.  I can't wait to see you again.  I love you so much.

All my love,

Mommy

Marlee,

Your feedings are getting stronger and stronger.  You ate all of your food (plus a little extra) today in about 17 minutes.  Good girl.  I am so proud of you.  You also gave a big 'ol burp...which is never easy to get from you.  It makes mommy so happy when you eat well.  I know you need those calories for strength and so you can continue to grow.  The doctor put in the order to start preparing you for discharge.  We don't have a specific date, but just knowing that it is coming and we have to start preparing is so encouraging.  Daddy and I are going to bring your carseats in when we come tonight for your 5:00pm feeding.  The nurses will do a carseat check to make sure you can breathe well when you are in the seat.  We have some other paperwork and things to take care of before we bring you home.  I still can't believe it happening.  Daddy and I have been working on getting the last minute things complete at the house so you will be comfortable when you get here.  We still need to find some tiny clothes for you since we didn't buy any preemie outfits before you were born.  Grandma Murray bought you one outfit that you've already worn two times.  It is very cute on you...but then again, everything is cute on you.  I love you so much sweet girl.  I miss you and will see you in a couple of hours.  Can't wait!

All my love,

Mommy

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/19/11 - 10:50pm)

**3/19/11 (10:50pm)**

Marlee,

Good news!!  You are officially 4 pounds again!!  Daddy and I came to your feeding at 8:00pm and you were weighed while we were there.  You have been hovering right underneath 4 pounds, so we are happy you got back to 4.  Your birth weight was 4 pounds, 1 ounce...so hopefully you will meet and pass that soon.  We loved your nurse tonight.  She has been working with babies in hospitals for 44 years!!  She was actually in the room when you were born, and she was the one who took Parks after he was delivered.  She was very optimistic on you and your brother coming home sooner than later.  She said you were both doing the major things: eating on your own, not requiring oxygen, gaining weight and sleeping in an open crib.  I am so happy to hear that.  We don't really have a specific date, but even knowing you are on the right path makes my heart smile.  I know you will still have to sleep and be left alone most of the time when you come home, but atleast I will be able to know you are close to me...and maybe I can even take some naps with you.  I need more time with you.  I need to take care of you.  But my needs are not important right now, and I know that.  I am just so excited to have you and your brother come home so our little family of four can get started.  I love you so much.  Keep eatin' so you can keep growin'.  Daddy and I will be back in the morning to see you.  Happy one-week birthday sweet girl.

All my love,

Mommy

Parks,

I am so proud of you.  Tonight you nursed for almost your whole feeding...and you haven't even had much practice yet, so it was very impressive.  You did so good.  You're just a natural.  I can't wait to see you again in the morning and continue the streak.  You've been doing good all day without your nasal canula.  While daddy and I were there for your 8:00pm feeding you only dropped your stats one time for a few seconds.  Only once!  Usually you drop it several times but this was the best hour we had with you yet.  I am so happy you are improving.  None of that "wimpy white boy" syndrome that all of the nurses talk about.  Not for my Parks.  Your last weigh-in was 4 pounds, 13.8 ounces...so you are getting so close to your birth weight (4 pounds, 14 ounces).  I am excited that if you continue to consistently gain then you will be in the 5 pounder bracket soon!!  That will be an awesome milestone!  You are so laid back and sweet, and I could just hold you and stare at you all day long.  Maybe when you get stronger I will do that one day...just hold you and rock you and thank God for blessing me with you and your sister.  You're my miracles.  I love you so very much.  I can't wait to bring you home.

All my love,

Mommy 

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/19/11 - 3:00pm)

**3/19/11 (3:00pm)**

Parks,

Hey buddy.  Guess what?!?!  They removed your nasal canula!  It was so great to see you without it...I think it really was starting to bug you.  They took it out really early this morning around 2am.  You've been doing pretty good with it.  You haven't had any official "episodes" that require any intervention, but you are still dropping your oxygen a little bit from time to time.  You recover on your own in a few seconds, but I still don't like it.  I am still praying for you to get through this little road bump.  I know you'll get there when you're ready.  Your feeding this morning was ok.  You didn't finish everything really fast like you have been doing, but mommy thinks that is ok.  Maybe you were just a little less hungry than normal this morning.  You took most of your bottle from me, and then the nurse tried to get you to finish it.  I could tell you didn't want it, but she really wanted you to finish.  You showed her though, because you ended up spitting up shortly after we laid you down.  You tried to tell us you were full, but nobody would listen.  :)  I am starting to see similarities in you and daddy so much.  Since I only get to see you for a limited time every day, I usually see your face when I am looking at daddy when we are at home.  It is so amazing.  You are such a handsome little man like your daddy.  I will come back to see you for two more feedings tonight.  I can't wait to see you...I hate being away from you.  It just doesn't feel right.  Even though I have never taken you out of the hospital, I feel incomplete without you right now.  After your feeding this morning, your daddy and I went to the baby store to get some things for you.  I love shopping for you, but I hate that it seemed like a normal shopping outing.  I shouldn't be out shopping while you are laying in a NICU.  I'm so sorry I can't be with you to take care of you all the time.  I should be with you...and the very second they tell me I can, I promise I'll be there.  I love you so much.

All my love,

Mommy

Marlee,

Hey baby girl.  Just when I think you can't get any more beautiful, I look at you and you are.  You did a good job this morning with eating for daddy and me.  He fed you most of the bottle and then you finished with me.  It took you about 22 minutes, so that's pretty good.  You were so peaceful after you ate today and we just wrapped you up and put you back to sleep.  I wish so badly that I could hold you for hours and just look at your sweet face and hands.  We will get there though, and soon we will get to have you all day and all night like it is supposed to be.  I'm so sorry we can't be with you all the time right now.  When I get up in the night to pump for you it is such a difficult time.  I should be holding you, and instead someone else is taking care of you while I am sitting at home.  It's not right...but it's only temporary.  The nurses in the NICU stay on for 12 hour shifts.  Our favorites are Ms. Peggy and Ms. Mary and Ms. Lori.  They are so sweet to you and they really help mommy and daddy with coping with your situation.  They are very comforting and always ready to answer any questions and offer any information on your status.  I know you love them too.  I can't wait until you get big and strong and we can go back to visit them and show them how big you are.  I miss you sweet girl.  I am going to try to rest for a few minutes and get ready to come back and see you tonight.  I love you so much.

All my love,

Mommy

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/18/11 - 10:00pm)

**3/18/11 (10:00pm)**

Marlee,

WE DID IT!!  Daddy and I just got home from your last two feedings at 5:00pm and 8:00pm today.  Daddy fed your brother, who chugged his whole bottle plus about 5ml extra in 4 minutes!!  He was a hungry man.  Then I fed you...and I must admit I was hopeful but not counting on you finishing for me.  About 10 minutes into the feeding you seemed to hit the wall as you usually do, and you had about 15ml remaining (you started with 40ml).  When you hit the wall, the nurse will usually take over to get you to finish in a decent time without wearing you out trying to force you to take it from me.  However, our nurse was called away for another c-section delivery (which coincidentally was one of our friends who is having twins as well!!  Ironic, huh?).  Anyway, the other nurse was covering for you guys and her assigned babies, so she was really busy.  Mommy sat you up and got a big burp from you, then tried a new position and you finished the whole thing for me!!!  I was so proud of you and so happy...I couldn't stop smiling.  You are just beautiful.  Every feature about you is perfect.  I can't stop staring at you when I hold you, and it is so hard to put you back to sleep so quickly.  I want more time with you, but I know that rest is best right now, so I have to enjoy the limited time I have with you and then let you go to sleep.  You are so peaceful when you sleep.  I get choked up every single time we have to leave the hospital without you, but I just keep picturing your beautiful face and it brings me comfort.  God has really been showing me a lot with how to trust Him through all of this.  He is speaking to me through the words of our friends and family, and even though it is hard, I am constantly reminding myself that this was all in His perfect plan for you.  While I still wish every second that I could be growing you in my belly so you didn't have to work to grow, I know this was the plan since before I was born.  I love you so much big girl.  Tomorrow will be your one-week birthday.  I can't believe you've been here for a week.  I love you so much.  I will come see you in the morning.

All my love,

Mommy

Parks,

You are mommy's little hungry man and I am loving it.  You are currently required to have between 38ml and 43ml at each feeding, and you have been eating 45ml every time...and doing it without any trouble.  I don't even worry about your eating anymore...except maybe that we need to be careful that you don't go too fast...and of course to make sure you BREATHE while you eat.  One of our dogs, Kaly, has similar problems.  She gets so excited at food time that she eats so fast that she sometimes chokes on her food.  We actually had to get her a special bowl that has some contours in it to slow her down while she is eating.  :)  Our other dog's name is Shayla.  You're going to love them both.  They are very excited to take naps with you all the time and to follow you around to clean up any food you might drop when you start eating real food.  Today on the way to the hospital, daddy noticed that the car in front of us had two kids in the backseat and they were having a straw-fight.  They were holding the straws from their cups up like swords and battling each other.  We both smiled thinking about you and Marlee doing things like that.  I jokingly turned around to your carseats in the back and said "Play nice Marks."  Yep - I think that is the first of many times I will say "Marks and Parlee" instead of "Parks and Marlee."  It happens to everyone, right?  Mommy is very tired though, so I am blaming it on that.  We got a good laugh out of it.  Both of your sets of grandparents came to see you today.  Grandpa and Grandma Murray came to your 5:00pm feeding.  You ate so fast that you were done by the time they got there, but they got to watch Marlee eat her dinner.  Then Granpa and Grandma Richardson came to your 8:00pm feeding.  They all think you are very handsome and enjoyed visiting with you very much.  Who wouldn't?  This morning when the NICU doctor came to evaluate you, he was pleased with how you've been doing.  He said that the nurses can remove your nasal canula!!  You will still keep your oxygen monitor on, and of course they will keep a close eye on you when they remove it to make sure you do ok.  Every time you eat, you still drop your oxygen stats for a few seconds, but you recover on your own and haven't needed any intervention.  I wish you would stop dropping it at all, but I know you are working through it in your time, and you will get there soon.  I'm excited and nervous about them removing the canula, but if you still need it, they will put it back, so I'm ok with that.  Besides, I can tell it is bothering you because you are constantly messing with it with your tiny little hands and you've pulled it away from your nose so many times.  Stay strong tonight and mommy and daddy will be back to see you in the morning.  I love you sweet boy.  I miss you every second we are away.  Soon we will be able to spend lots and lots of time together.  I can't wait!

All my love,

Mommy

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/17/11 - 4:00pm)

**3/17/11 (4:00pm)**

Parks,

Hey little man.  I am at home right now and missing you and your sister like crazy.  Daddy and I came to visit you this morning for your 8:00am feeding, and you did great.  You are really on a roll with this eating thing.  They also turned your air flow down to 0.75 (you started at 2.0) and you haven't had any episodes.  Hopefully you have taken the time with the nasal canula to really get in the right habits with always remembering to breathe!!  There is a cute movie called "Finding Nemo" that I will probably show you in a couple years.  I think you'll love it.  In the movie, there is a fish that sings a song that goes "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming..."  Mommy likes to change the words and sing to you: "Just keep breathing, just keep breathing, just keep breathing, breathing, breathing."  I have a horrible singing voice, but atleast it is usually boring enough to you to put you to sleep.  Daddy and I are going to come visit you again tonight, hopefully for two more feedings today.  It's so hard to stay away, but the nurses keep reminding me that if I do too much and my blood pressure issues come back, then the meds they would put me on for that would mess with my milk...and we aren't going to take any chances with that.  I promise to do all I can for you.  I love you so much.

All my love,

Mommy

Marlee,

You are stubborn, but I have to say I love it.  Daddy fed you again this morning when we came to visit.  You just get so comfy in his hands that you try to sleep through the feedings.  It is so hard for daddy because he wants you to eat well and get comfortable that he can feed you without the nurses to help.  I feel the same way.  They always have tricks and seem to have more success with getting you to eat than I do.  I think my stress level with wanting you to eat so much might play a part in it.  I need to just relax and let you do it...but I just want to do it right.  I know we will work it out...it's just taking some time.  You finished your bottle this morning in about 22 minutes which was pretty good...daddy fed you for the first half, and then the nurse took over when you tried to sleep.

Last night when daddy and I got home from the hospital, we were missing you so badly.  We came into the house, and it was spotless!  Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Patrick, Lucy, Claire and Tony had come over and cleaned the whole house for us!  It was amazing and truly took a huge amount of stress off of me.  I can't believe what a difference it has made, but it just feels good to have the place clean and ready for you when you are ready to see it.  I know you will always help mommy keep the house clean, right? Even if you don't, I will still love you to pieces.  :)  I can't wait to see you again tonight.  I miss you and I love you.

All my love,

Mommy

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/16/11 - 11:25pm)

**3/16/11 (11:25pm)**

Parks and Marlee,

Mommy is having a hard time right now.  I was discharged from the hospital around 7:00pm today after the doctor was comfortable with my blood pressure not posing any serious risks, so we had to leave without you since you are still in the NICU and not ready to leave yet.  Giving you your last feeding while we were there and then driving away was extremely difficult, and now being at home without you just feels incomplete.  I continue to remind myself that you are both just getting the help and support you need, and you are going to get strong and healthy before we bring you home.  I know we will have a lifetime together, but it's just so hard to be away from you.  I realize some of my feelings are not logical, but I want to be honest about what I am thinking.  I feel very guilty.  I feel like I didn't do a good job of growing you in my belly for long enough.  I was so confident that you would both keep growing for as long as the doctors would let you (38 weeks).  I was overly confident.  I am mad at myself for that.  I should have been focused on growing you two for as long as I possibly could instead of whining and joking about wanting to meet you sooner than 38 weeks.  I wish I could have done something differently so you would be growing right now without having to try so hard for it.  I'm still supposed to be eating for you and breathing for you and protecting you.  I wish I still could.  You shouldn't have to work to get your nutrients right now.  I'm so sorry sweet babies.

When daddy and I got home, we didn't know what to do with ourselves.  We both paced the house and did little things around the house (mostly in your room) to keep busy.  We can't stay out of your nursery...I just can't wait until you are chubby little babies taking naps in your room. I really think you're going to love it.  Grandma and Grandpa just painted it on Friday (the day before you were born) and we are going to finish decorating it soon.

I am going to cut this letter short because daddy and I need to spend some time together.  We both love you very much and will be back to see you in the morning.

All my love,

Mommy

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/16/11 - 1:05pm)

**3/16/11 (1:05pm)**

Parks,

You are doing so great, buddy.  Mommy tried nursing you for the first time at your 11:00 feeding, and you did great.  You were definitely hungry because you were restless and rooting when I got there, but you latched right on and did great.  We nursed for about 10 or 15 minutes, and then I gave you the bottle to make sure you could get your calories in without burning too many calories to eat!  I can't believe how proud I am of you, and how happy it makes me to see you progress like this.  God really helped us both out this morning.  I always pump right before coming to the NICU to see you so that I can bring the milk down and then we are on a similar schedule.  However, this time there were some tests being done on mommy (silly high blood pressure stuff) so I didn't have time to pump.  I had no idea we would be nursing, but it was absolutely a little gift from above because I was ready for you.  :)  Jesus loves you, this I know.  See you soon.  Rest well.

All my love,

Mommy

Marlee,

You are so funny.  You've been slow with your feedings and like to take the full time to get it all down usually.  Today the doctor bumped you up from 29 ml to 35 ml, and like a champ, you drank the entire thing for mommy in about 17 minutes!!  Way to go baby girl.  I tried nursing you first and your eyes just got really big and I could read your face: "What in the world is this, mom?!" so we switched you back to the bottle and went to town.  I didn't want to wear you out trying to get the nursing down...but just wanted to get you introduced.  I love you sweet girl.  I'm coming back to see you soon.

All my love,

Mommy

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/16/11 - 12:00am)

**3/16/11 (12:00am)**

Parks,

It is midnight on Tuesday, March 15^th, and daddy and I just got back from feeding you.  You did GREAT!!  Mommy fed you and Daddy fed your sister.  You ate your entire bottle in one go, and didn’t fall asleep at all.  Then you gave mommy a cute little burp and we rocked and snuggled afterwards.  You got your blood pressure taken while I rocked you, and you slept right through it.  The nurse said it usually bugs you, but we were just bonding and it didn’t even effect you.  I loved it.  Good job little buddy.  We are going to try to get some sleep now so we can be good for you tomorrow, so we won’t see you for your 2:00am feeding…but I promise we will be back, and you are in good hands.  One of our favorite nurses is assigned to you right now and she will be very sweet to you.  I hope you sleep tight throughout the night.  Remember, mommy loves you so much.  Keep eating and keep breathing!

All my love,

Mommy

Marlee,

Goooood girl.  You just had your best feeding yet for daddy.  We came down for your 11:30pm feeding and you downed your whole bottle in one attempt…no falling asleep or crying or stopping.  I think you heard us making all the fuss about your brother doing that, so you had to show him up…you ate all yours (which is currently one ounce more than his) and you did it with some style.  I loved it.  Then you gave daddy a big old burp.  He was so proud of you.  We both couldn’t stop smiling.  It’s amazing how high our spirits get when you do these things.  Eating a good meal and getting a good burp and your parents couldn’t be more proud.  Just keep doing what you’re doing and we will be chasing you around the house in no time!!  I love you so much sweet girl.  You are my heart.

All my love,

Mommy

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/15/11 - 10:00pm)

**3/15/11 (10:00pm)**

My sweet baby Parks,

I love you so much sweet boy.  Daddy and I just got back from the NICU.  We had our best visit/feeding with you yet.  You are almost 4 days old now.  We have been coming to see you every 3 hours and get to spend about an hour with you each time.  You are currently eating 28 ml of formula + mommy’s pumped milk at each feeding.  You’ve been having ups and downs with your feedings.  They like to get you to eat all of your food within 30 minutes or less.  You have done this a couple of times in 10 minutes, and a couple other times you take about 29 minutes and 59 seconds to finish your bottle.  This last time, you ate your whole bottle for mommy in about 12 minutes, and gave me two good burps.  Then we snuggled for about 20 minutes before I put you back down to sleep.  You are just amazing and I can’t take my eyes off of you.  Other than being a little bit slow with your feedings at times, you have been having some “episodes” of apnea.  You either have reflux or you just get so comfy that you stop breathing for a short time…and it scares mommy a lot.  Your monitors are great because they let the nurses know when something is going on so they can help you out if you need it.  You had about 15-20 episodes in the past couple of days, so the doctor put a nasal cannula on you.  It’s not pumping oxygen into your nose, but it just gives a stream of air to help remind you to breathe.  So far, it has been working great…so we are praying that continues and you get the hang of this whole breathing thing.  We don’t like it when you forget to do that.  Other than that, you are the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen, and I just can’t wait for you to grow big and strong.  I love you baby boy.  I am heading down to visit you again in about 20 minutes (after I pump) so let’s hope for another good meal.  I love you.

All my love,

Mommy

Beautiful Marlee,

You are amazing.  Daddy and I are getting ready to come visit you in a few minutes.  I miss you so much in between our little visits.  I know you need your rest though, and I am glad you get to sleep with nobody bugging you or asking you to eat or perform anything in between.  I think you are starting to get the hang of your new schedule.  You don’t seem to excited when we wake you up to eat, but this last feeding went pretty well.  Aunt Erin and Uncle T were there to meet you, and you put on a show for them.  You showed all your sweet pouty faces and gave them a few whines.  They loved it.  You ate most of your bottle really fast for daddy.  Currently, your volume is at 29 ml.  This past time, you ate all but the last 5 before stopping to squirm a bit.  Daddy got you to eat another 2 ml, so you only left about 3…which was acceptable and you still got a good mark.  We are proud of you.  Your burps were amazing too.  Mommy burps a lot sometimes too so you probably got that from me (daddy always yells at me for burping…but you’re too cute for him to yell at you).  The only real issue you have been having over the past couple of days is with your feeding, that’s why we are so proud of you for this last one.  You just get really sleepy and have a hard time getting the whole bottle down.  If you can’t finish it, the nurses will have to put a feeding tube in your nose which will not be fun at all, so everybody wants you to keep on eating.  I know you can do it…we just saw how strong you can be when you want to be.  Keep it up sweet baby.  You’ve got to catch up to your brother in weight.  You’ve lost a little bit so far and dropped your weight to 3 pounds, 14 ounces…so we want to get you chunked up a bit.  I love you so very much and can’t wait to see you again.  Get some good rest.

All my love,

Mommy

Letters to Parks & Marlee (3/15/11 - 9:35pm)

**3/15/11 (9:35pm)**

Fayette Piedmont Hospital

I love you both more than words can say.  I’ve know you for less than 4 days, and I can’t believe how quickly you’ve stolen my heart.  I have so many thoughts and feelings running through me all the time, and would love to write to you to be able to remember this precious but difficult time.  Maybe one day you’ll read these.  Maybe not.  Either way, I think it’s therapeutic for mommy.

Here’s a quick summary of our time together so far…

On the night of Friday, March 11^th, 2011, Daddy and I went to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for dinner.  We cooked out with Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Patrick, Great-Aunt Libby and Uncle Ron, Tony and Claire (you’ll love all of these people very soon).  We had a great evening.  Mommy ate a cheeseburger, mac n’ cheese and some buffalo chicken dip.  I wonder if any of these were the culprit?!?!  That night, daddy and I went home like normal and went to sleep.  You two had been pretty active for the previous few weeks, which mommy LOVED, but it also kept me up throughout the night.  I didn’t mind too much though, since I got to feel your sweet kicks and rolls.  That night, I got in bed around 11:30pm and woke up at 1:30am to go pee.  I went a little bit and then felt a weird “pop” feeling, and then went quite a bit more.  I thought maybe one of you had just moved suddenly, and that released my bladder….but there was a part of me that said it could have been my water breaking.  I didn’t want to wake daddy up, so I just grabbed the laptop (I wonder if you’ll know about laptops by the time you read this, or if technology will be so much more advanced by then??).  I searched online for details on water breaking.  I was about 95% sure that it was a false alarm, and most of the advice online said to lay down for 30 minutes and then check to see if there was any leaking.  I decided to go back to bed, and 5 minutes later I got up with extreme pain.  I later realized this was my first contraction…but didn’t know it at the time.  At this point, daddy woke up and came to check on me.  I told him about my pain and the possibility of my water having broken.  He said I should call the 24-hour nurse that I talked to through our insurance.  I did that, and she recommended that I call my doctor and/or go into the hospital.  I tried calling my doctor, but the phone was busy!!  That was a scary thing, because it is supposed to be a call-center at night.  We tried calling for about 30 minutes and only got busy signals.  We decided we should go into the Emergency Room and continue to try to call on the way.  We got all the way to the hospital, and I was getting out of the car at the door to the ER when daddy finally got through on the phone to the answering service.  Dr. Carter called us back immediately and after we told her what was going on, she said to check into the hospital and she was on her way in.

We got checked in about 3:00am on the morning of Saturday, March 12^th.  Since it was the middle of the night, and we had to go in through the ER instead of the Maternity Center, I got wheeled over to the Maternity floor.  They put us in a room and asked us to complete some paperwork.  I started to do it myself, but then my contractions started getting intense, so daddy had to step in and fill it out, and just let mommy sign on the lines that I needed to sign on.  By the way, daddy has been so amazing through the entire process…but you’ll learn all about that.  Within about 20 minutes, I went from fairly normal and able to have a conversation, to having intense contractions every 2 minutes and being very scared.  The nurse told me “this is it” and they took me to the OR.  She said she didn’t have time to finish the paperwork or do all the tests they needed to because you two babies weren’t going to wait on that.  You two were so funny throughout my pregnancy.  We never really knew what to expect about your positions because you loved to flip and flop all the time.  We were expecting Parks to be breech and Marlee to be head-down, since that was the last ultrasound about a week prior…but you had both moved, and Parks was now head-down and lower (to be born first) and Marlee was breech and higher.  Since you weren’t both head-down, Dr. Carter decided to deliver you via c-section.  At that point, mommy didn’t have an opinion…not that I had a choice anyway.  J

When they took me back to the OR to prepare for the surgery, daddy had to wait in the room by himself.  It was very hard being wheeled away from him, and I know it was hard on him to sit there alone for 20 minutes with all the chaos that had been happening.  As we were rolling into the OR, my contractions were starting to feel different, and the nurses were telling me “don’t push!” since Parks was ready to join us at any moment.  They prepped me and then brought daddy in.  They laid me down on a table, put a drape up so I wouldn’t see anything, and got to work very quickly. 

Parks, as soon as you were born we heard you yell and cry very loud.  It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.  They lifted you up so we could see you over the drape, and then took you away to clean you and take care of you.

Marlee, you were born second, and you were quiet when you first came.  The nurses took you right away to stimulate you a little bit to get you going.  That was a very scary time for mommy and daddy not to hear you right away, but you came around quickly and when we heard you cry, the world was complete.

Since you were born at only 34 weeks and 2 days, you were both very tiny and considered “preemie” babies.  Parks, you were born at 4:59am on Saturday, March 12^th and weighed in at 4 pounds, 14 ounces.  Marlee, you were born at 5:02am on Saturday, March 12^th and weighed in at 4 pounds, 1 ounce.  You were both 17 inches long.  The nurses took you both to the NICU right away to be cared for and monitored.  That was a very hard day for mommy.  The surgery left me unable to use my legs for about a day, so I didn’t get to see you until about 11:30pm that night when daddy was able to get me into a wheelchair and take me to see you.  (Luckily, daddy could make a few trips over to visit you even though mommy couldn’t, and he took some videos of your first hours of life to show me).  You both looked so delicate and precious in the NICU.  You were under some heat fans and wearing a little diaper.  You both had monitors hooked up to your chest and feet and the nurses were keeping a close eye on you both.  You both did a very good job on the first day.  You ate all the food you were supposed to, and seemed to be behaving.  Since then, you have each had a couple of setbacks, and I will try to fill you in on the details in your individual letters, but I just wanted to get some of those initial details down.  Remember, your mommy and daddy love you more than anything, and we are looking forward to all the milestones you will reach here at the hospital, back at your new home, and throughout your lives.  We will do everything we can do be good parents for you, and will never stop praying for your health and safety.

My Beautiful Babies

The Belly...dun dun dun

WARNING:  Giant Belly Photos to follow  :)

Here's a progression of the last several months.  This is so funny for me to look at. 



9/24/2010  (10weeks 1day)



10/10/2010  (12weeks 3days)



11/12/2010  (17weeks 1day)



12/5/2010 (20weeks 3days)



12/14/2010 (21weeks 5days)



12/14/2010 (21weeks 5days) + Mikey  :)

1/29/2011 (28weeks 2days)

2/10/2011 (30weeks)



3/2/2011 (32weeks 6days)



Baby Girl Pic

I meant to post this a couple of weeks ago, but our scanner was messed up.  This was from our ultrasound on February 18th, 2011.   Baby Boy was being shy, but we got a pic of our precious Baby Girl...